Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming, Kinda

Hey everyone!

I’d like to start out today by sincerely thanking everyone who reached out to me after last week’s, erm, episode.  It really means a lot to know that there are people here for me, and I know I’ll count on your friendship as I work on being better.  One love, XOXO.

Anyway, I realize I’ve fallen off the edge of the blog world, and though you all know there’s a reason for it, I do love writing this thingy and sharing my menial thoughts with everyone unfortunate enough to click that little link on their Facebook news feed.  So, I’ve decided to change things up a little bit.  You can now anticipate posts on Tuesdays and Thursdays, so you can catch up with me before you settle down to watch your favorite primetime TV show.  (It’s Dance Moms and you know it.  Don’t lie to yourself.)

Come to my bosom. (Hey look guys! The images are back!)

Like many of you, I have several New Year’s resolutions.  Though my resolutions to get good grades, exercise more and eat less, and be more “social” may eventually lose their footing, I’m hoping my blog resolutions last a little longer.  This semester I’m going to work on getting away from the list format and try to go a little bit more free-form, because eff lists.  I’m also hoping to publish some stuff here that would be worthy of inclusion in The Rock at BC so I can reach a wider audience and blah blah blah.

Yeah, so, nothing much else to say here, except I hope y’all are doing well and I can’t wait to see the vast majority of you next week on campus.  By the way–guess who’s going into Stokes today?  It’s me.  I have a muh-fuckin’ appointment.  And lordy moses am I stoked.

Until next time,

Kate

A Serious Talk

Hey guys.  It’s been a while.  I’m sure you’ve missed me, just as much as I’ve missed making dumb wisecracks and watching the little blue bar on my readership histogram go up.  I could blame my absence from posting on a lot of things–laziness, forgetfulness, various breaktime activities–but I’m going to tell you the truth here.  

I haven’t goddamned felt like writing funny stuff.

Continuing in the vein of truth, I haven’t felt like being funny in a pretty long time.  I know what you’re saying–but Kate!  You are so humorous, and also incredibly good-looking!  Well, kids, that’s what you’d call a defense mechanism.  I like writing funny things so I can pretend like nothing is actually wrong.  

That’s also where the whole ego thing comes into play.  I’m sure most of you know what I actually look like, but if you read my blog, you’ll think that I think quite highly of myself.  Not so.  Were you to delve into my brain, which I will here personify as a Wikipedia-esque information center, the article about “self-image” would have me illustrated as some kind of grotesque troll figure, hanging out on the couch and eating toaster pizzas like it’s her job.

Those pizzas have gotten so tiny since the ’90s, though.  I can’t be wrong here.

I digress.

I was not a very happy kid.  Every so often, I’d have periods of anxiety, but nothing that ever lasted too long.  Since I started college, it’s gotten a lot worse.  Last summer, I was considering not coming back to school, but with no other options, I toughed out fall semester, had a few bad spells, and returned home for Christmas.  Since the holidays, things have been getting progressively worse.  

I could attribute my most recent breakdowns to any number of things, like a death in the family or PMS, but it soon became evident that things are a lot more serious than that.  I’ve been getting emotional about things I thought I was okay with, silently fuming when my friends blow me off, getting progressively more stir-crazy as I spend hours at a time alone with my thoughts.  I’ve been getting angry and upset when I don’t want to be.

I’m going to see a counselor tomorrow and I guess I’m just telling you all of this because I’m a little scared.

I look at my life and I know I should feel blessed.  I have a few–not many, but a few–friends who genuinely care about me and a family that, though a bit dysfunctional, is a phenomenal source of support.  I go to a great school and if I play my cards right I could have a really excellent future ahead of me.  But I’ve been focusing too much on all the bad stuff that’s happened to me, all the nasty things people have ever said, all of the friends who have let me down–and it’s as if none of the good things matter.  I’m so disheartened that I’m on the brink of ruining the rest of my life. 

I’m not telling you about my problems because I’m looking for attention or because I want you to treat me differently.  I’m telling you this because I want this blog to be a representation of who I am, to a degree.  While the cynical humor that you guys seem to enjoy is a part of me, so is depression.  And as usual, if you don’t like it, nobody’s making you read this or talk to me or whatever.

I’m not sure how much I’m going to be updating in the New Year so if this is the last time I post, then thank you guys for sticking with me, for telling me how much you liked reading my writing, and, if you have been, for being there when I needed someone.  I can’t tell you how special you are to me.

Until next time,

Kate

Organized Chaos: What I Would Have Told 2011 Kate

Good evening friends.  Hope you’ve had a good break so far and Santa was good to all of you goofballs.  With 2013 on the horizon, it’s time for some retrospective and reflection.  This has been one hell of a year, ladies and gentlemen, and looking back on it there were some pretty crazy goings-on.  There’s also plenty of things I wish I had known a year ago that could have eliminated a whole lot of pain, suffering and downright awkwardness… though in my life, there’s bound to be awkwardness anyway.  Anyway, though I’m not the type of woman to harbor many regrets, here’s a list of the things I would say to 2011 Kate–me, a year ago.

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Generic Christmas Post

Hello friends!  I realize I’ve been neglecting you.  It’s been a busy couple of days–after weeks of finals, I had a lot of doing-nothing to catch up on.  I hope this makes up for it.  The semester is over and the holidays are well upon us (okay, Christmas is upon us.  Hanukkah’s over.  Sorry, Jewish friends, you can share my holiday if you want), which means festive merriment, a reprieve from the stresses of school, and of course, a return home.

Since my return to Newton on Thursday, I’ve been subject to reunion after reunion.  On Friday, I reunited with my pithy waitressing job, because contrary to popular belief, being funny and strikingly attractive does not pay well; on Saturday, I reunited with my parents’ friends, who were shocked to learn that no, I am not a gawky fifteen-year-old anymore; tonight I will reunite with my high school friends.  I have come back to all the things I love about being home: full kitchen access, cable TV, using the car, good water pressure in the shower, and I guess the people I love most and stuff.

These are my siblings.  They’re okay.

Yes, indeed, it is Christmas time in the city, the decorations are up, the temperature is going down, and soon enough the little baby Jesus will be born and Santa will be bringing gifts to all the good little boys and girls on his magical sleigh (I can’t tell you how ridiculous I felt writing that out).  Though my position on the nice list is questionable at best (sorry I’m not sorry), I have my own grown up Christmas list.  As always, there are some things on my wish list that even Father Christmas can’t deliver.

I’d love for the big man to bring me a couple extra points on my GPA, a few less inches on my waistline and functional HVAC in my dorm (the heat is too damn high!), but even a made-up character has his limitations.  More realistically, I’m hoping that Santa will bring joy and holiday happiness to all my loved ones, as well some pants that fit, maybe some books, a few pairs of socks, enough cash to keep up my lifestyle of modest debauchery, and a couple of those nice little hand sanitizers.

Debauchery. Socks. Smelling nice. I don’t think it’s too much to ask, do you?

Anyway, to you my dear friends and readers, I wish you a very merry Christmas and I hope all of your wishes come true.  If your wish is for me to supply you with my twisted view on the world via a blog with less readership and journalistic integrity than the National Enquirer, then you’ll be quite pleased–I have approximately zero plans for the next three weeks and enough joy to last us well through the new year.  Get at me, Mayans, 2013 is coming and I’m so ready for it!

May your days be merry and bright,

Kate

Weekend Adventures: Finals

Yeah, nothing really noteworthy going on here.  But here is a note of encouragement from a famous guardian angel:

So even if you didn’t do so well on that exam or that paper, as long as you have your bros you’ll be fine.

Good luck with the home stretch, everyone!  We’ll be back on Wednesday with enough holiday-themed LOLs to last you through the end of the world.  In the meantime, procrastinate here.  They’re pretty cool.

Until next time,

Kate

Organized Chaos: 4 Places You Could Never Pay Me to Visit

Good morning my darlings!  As we enter the second day of final exams here at the good old University of Chestnut Hill, the international-bound sophomores face another deadline: the last day to apply for early-decision Study Abroad programs.  I myself have my fingers crossed for the Queen Mary, University of London program.  For me, London was kind of an obvious choice (English major!  England!  Duhhh!), but I could have made a more exotic location work if I wasn’t so G-D terrified of things that aren’t America.  Call me an ugly, shallow American, but I think I have perfectly legitimate reasons that there are 4 places that I will never, ever travel to.

(If this is offensive, I am deeply, deeply sorry.  This is just my opinions.)

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Love/Hate: Walsh Life

Hello all!  For all my college-age friends, hope your finals are going excellently.  I’m reporting live from Bruegger’s Bagels in Coolidge Corner, as my finals madness drove me to desperate lengths (i.e. the C line) to get a decent bagel.  Seriously, you don’t mess with me and food.

Anyway, as this semester winds down, I’m packing up and preparing to leave my home-away-from-home, the notorious Walsh Hall.  Though I’ll miss my humble 4-man dearly over the break and I have come to love Walsh this semester, I was incredibly skeptical about living here–it has a bit of a reputation and some major downsides.  So, let’s talk about it!  What do I love and hate about BC’s very own pit of sin, Walsh Hall?

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